Saturday, August 6, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Vacation
Tommy is doing incredibly well. His vocabulary is expanding. He comes up with something new, a phrase, an exclamation, or something just about every day. We just got back from vacation. We went to see 2 of the 3 sets of grandparents. We went to the beach in Maryland, and played in a stream in Philadelphia.
Tommy got a chance to meet many of his new relatives and family friends.
Tommy got a chance to meet many of his new relatives and family friends.
In the news
Last Sunday, The Cincinnati Enquirer ran three stories about adoption; two featured Tommy and our family. One talked about all the "stuff" going on in international adoption these days; fraud, corruption, etc. We didn't experience ANY of that in our adoption, but I guess it's out there somewhere. Here's the story.
One was just about us, Tommy, our family and our adoption experience. It was part of a contrast; there was another family whose experience has been the opposite of ours. They've been waiting 3 years for a little girl from Guatemala. Very sad.
The third story was about the International Adoption Clinic at Childrens Hospital. They've been very nice and helpful.
Overall, we've had a great adoption experience so far. And we're happy to bring some attention to the issue. We're hopeful others will read these stories, understand the plight of children like Tommy, and take our lead.
One was just about us, Tommy, our family and our adoption experience. It was part of a contrast; there was another family whose experience has been the opposite of ours. They've been waiting 3 years for a little girl from Guatemala. Very sad.
The third story was about the International Adoption Clinic at Childrens Hospital. They've been very nice and helpful.
Overall, we've had a great adoption experience so far. And we're happy to bring some attention to the issue. We're hopeful others will read these stories, understand the plight of children like Tommy, and take our lead.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
First 90 Days
On July 1st Tommy will have been with us for 90 days. In that relatively short time our family has changed quite a bit. It's been nearly 11 years since we've had a new family member, and my memories of the time right after Morgan was born are a bit hazy. But I imagine it was much like this. Tommy and the rest of us are getting used to each other; our moods and personalities; our likes and dislikes; our habits and schedules. It's a process, but overall it's going very well. Since he joined us, we've watched Tommy adapt from an un-trusting stranger to an indispensable--and and mostly happy--part of our family.
We've settled in to a routine of sorts. It's been fortunate for us that summer arrived not long after Tommy did. So, the kids are all home from school and there's lots of together time throughout the day. Tommy still wakes up very early, usually by 6:00; a hold-over from his schedule at the Care Center. We have breakfast together most mornings; he likes Cheerios (what kid doesn't) and pancakes. Fortunately, (as some of you know) we make pancakes from scratch every morning at our house. Before the other kids get up, we usually have a chance to watch/listen to some of his favorite Ethiopian kids songs on Youtube. He dances and sings, which is quite amazing since the neurologists told us he's missing the part of his brain that's typically associated with tempo and music appreciation.
He usually goes with Momma to the YMCA early in the day, and spends some time in child watch or in the gym, playing on the equipment.
We have therapy, both physical and occupational, a couple days a week with other doctor visits sprinkled in throughout the month. We're three weeks into a serial casting plan to help improve the function of Tommy's right leg and foot. Each week, a new cast is put on in a way that stretches his tendons and muscles and moves his ankle and foot closer to the correct position for better balance and mobility. So far, it's worked great. His first cast improved his range of motion by 30 degrees. They told us an improvement of 7 or 8 degrees would have been good, so 30 is super! The whole process is expected to take about 6 to 10 weeks.
We've begun the process of registering Tommy for school in the fall. Our school district has an excellent program for kids who need PT, OT and speech therapy. In our visits with the neurologist and therapists, they've diagnosed Tommy as having Cerebral Palsy, a result of an in utero stroke. The CP diagnosis helps the hospital, doctors, insurance companies and school district to recognize that his condition requires some pretty extensive "work". It helps distinguish him from other kids who may just need a little extra help in speech or mobility. They tell us it will really matter when our insurance company reaches the limits they typically apply for therapy, then other resources become available to him via local organizations and the State. In any case, the school is evaluating him for placement into this special program in the fall. Preschool will be two or three days a week, and he can go to one of two close-by schools. They'll provide his therapies there, so we won't have to take him all the way to the hospital. That'll be a big help for Jen. We've got appointments in August for a final determination, but it seems very likely they'll take him.
He's very smart. We've watched in wonder as he figures things out; especially technology. He knows how to turn on the TV, VCR and DVD players. He's got taking pictures down to a science, whether it's with a cell phone, mobile game system, or a digital camera. He understands the phone and skype, which we use a lot when I'm on the road, or to call Gramom and Grampop. He knows what a computer is for, at least conceptually. And he likes listening to the radio, or at least browsing the stations. We've been practicing drawing circles and lines, and he's getting good at saying, although not yet distinguishing, colors.
We've been to the bus stop and back about a hundred times,
we've gone hiking and swimming, clothes shopping, rock collecting, ball playing and had a bunch of picnics. It's been a great 3 months!
We've settled in to a routine of sorts. It's been fortunate for us that summer arrived not long after Tommy did. So, the kids are all home from school and there's lots of together time throughout the day. Tommy still wakes up very early, usually by 6:00; a hold-over from his schedule at the Care Center. We have breakfast together most mornings; he likes Cheerios (what kid doesn't) and pancakes. Fortunately, (as some of you know) we make pancakes from scratch every morning at our house. Before the other kids get up, we usually have a chance to watch/listen to some of his favorite Ethiopian kids songs on Youtube. He dances and sings, which is quite amazing since the neurologists told us he's missing the part of his brain that's typically associated with tempo and music appreciation.
He usually goes with Momma to the YMCA early in the day, and spends some time in child watch or in the gym, playing on the equipment.
We've begun the process of registering Tommy for school in the fall. Our school district has an excellent program for kids who need PT, OT and speech therapy. In our visits with the neurologist and therapists, they've diagnosed Tommy as having Cerebral Palsy, a result of an in utero stroke. The CP diagnosis helps the hospital, doctors, insurance companies and school district to recognize that his condition requires some pretty extensive "work". It helps distinguish him from other kids who may just need a little extra help in speech or mobility. They tell us it will really matter when our insurance company reaches the limits they typically apply for therapy, then other resources become available to him via local organizations and the State. In any case, the school is evaluating him for placement into this special program in the fall. Preschool will be two or three days a week, and he can go to one of two close-by schools. They'll provide his therapies there, so we won't have to take him all the way to the hospital. That'll be a big help for Jen. We've got appointments in August for a final determination, but it seems very likely they'll take him.
He's very smart. We've watched in wonder as he figures things out; especially technology. He knows how to turn on the TV, VCR and DVD players. He's got taking pictures down to a science, whether it's with a cell phone, mobile game system, or a digital camera. He understands the phone and skype, which we use a lot when I'm on the road, or to call Gramom and Grampop. He knows what a computer is for, at least conceptually. And he likes listening to the radio, or at least browsing the stations. We've been practicing drawing circles and lines, and he's getting good at saying, although not yet distinguishing, colors.
We've been to the bus stop and back about a hundred times,
Friday, April 22, 2011
Tommy update...
by Jenny McBrien Romano on Thursday, April 21, 2011 at 4:09pm
Wow...can you believe how time flies? Tommy has been an American citizen for 3 weeks! I cannot believe how wonderfully adjusted he is. The first week and a half were really tough but we have come a long way. He throws a few fits a day and can really hold a pouty face/grudge for a while. But when he is happy he is smiling and laughing. He loves to kiss and play with his siblings. They love to read to him and put him to bed at night. Tommy has even gone to child watch a couple of hours a day so I can work in the gymnastics center at the Y. He is a very resilient boy!
Tommy has undergone a ton of testing, etc to figure out what care he needs. Found out yesterday from his MRI last week that he suffered a stroke in the lower left quadrant of his brain sometime in utero or soon after birth. It affected his ride side mobility and speech ability (no kidding!). The doc said he will be golden with speech come 1st or 2nd grade and that he may have some defecits concerning spatial awareness...His foot and hand are a whole different story. He needs serial casting for 4 weeks with Botox injections to extend his heel chord and make it so his heel can strike the ground to build muscle. His tone is low and his right leg is 3cm shorter than his left. So after the 4 wk serial casting he will need a brace to help with his gait and a lift in that shoe to level his legs. The doc insures us it will be an amazing transformation when all is done. I cannot wait. For his right hand they would like cast his left arm (working arm) like if he had broken it. The idea is to force him to use the arm that is lazy. He has some control using it but the doc said he is really just being lazy and forgetful about it.
So all in all a very good prognosis. We are very thankful and wish you all well and blessings galore! Have a wonderful Easter!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The rest of the story
This is a continuation "Mission Accomplished!" the story of our second trip to Ethiopia, and our first days with our new son, Tommy.
After our trip to Durame, we went back to the Care Center and had a going away party for the kids. It was nice, and we enjoyed seeing the kids and nannies together. They brought each of the kids out, one at a time, dressed in traditional Ethiopian garb.
It was a brief, but very special ceremony. They reminded us of the close relationship between Christian history and Ethiopian history. They asked for a volunteer to read a verse from the bible, Exodus 2, that tells the story of Moses being "adopted" by Pharoah's daughter. I read the story, then gave a brief prayer for the children, families and staff of Holt and other agencies doing great work in Ethiopia. Then we sang "Happy Birthday" (not exactly sure why) and shared some cake and Ethiopian coffee (with popcorn, as always). Not long after that, it was time to say goodbye.
It seemed to me, the event was as much for the nannies as for the kids, and that made me glad. Watching them all say goodbye showed just how much they care for the kids. All of them knew Tommy; he'd been there the longest of anyone.
We spent the next four days hanging out at the Jemimah House. It was an interesting experience, with seven families, 18 adults and 12 kids. Although we were allowed to leave, we weren't allowed to "wander" out in town with the children. So, it sort of felt like being in quarrantine. Still, we had a very nice time hanging out with our new friends. The kids did extremely well and the staff at the Jemimah House did a superb job. Not sure which was a bigger hit: the daily coffee/popcorn ceremony, the hotel's van, the injera or the hotel's security guard.
After our trip to Durame, we went back to the Care Center and had a going away party for the kids. It was nice, and we enjoyed seeing the kids and nannies together. They brought each of the kids out, one at a time, dressed in traditional Ethiopian garb.
We spent the next four days hanging out at the Jemimah House. It was an interesting experience, with seven families, 18 adults and 12 kids. Although we were allowed to leave, we weren't allowed to "wander" out in town with the children. So, it sort of felt like being in quarrantine. Still, we had a very nice time hanging out with our new friends. The kids did extremely well and the staff at the Jemimah House did a superb job. Not sure which was a bigger hit: the daily coffee/popcorn ceremony, the hotel's van, the injera or the hotel's security guard.
SOME OBSERVATIONS ABOUT ETHIOPIA & OUR EXPERIENCE:
- Ethiopia is FAR AWAY, and getting there takes time, patience and money.
- The Ethiopian people are beautiful, warm and gracious.
- The country is a study in contrasts: poverty vs. wealth, development vs. stagnation, indulgence vs. austerity, high tech vs. plain, luxurious vs. stark.
- Capitalism has a foothold, but it's got a long way to go, especially outside the cities.
- The countryside, views and experience are very much like you expect from the movies and magazines. Africa looks a lot like you think it does. There are plains and savannahs, watering holes and scrub. Animals roam the streets and plains (so do young children).
- It's hot, although not as hot as I thought it would be while we were there. But we did get sunburn; it's much closer to the equator, so the sun seems much stronger.
- Water, especially clean water, is a luxury.
- "Doctor" is a fairly flexible, and relative, term.
- Pizza and beer tastes the same the whole world over.
- Ethiopian people have a lilt to their elocution; all discourse ends a tone or two higher than it began, and most sentences end in "eh?"
- 7 hours on the road takes on a whole new meaning at 160 Km/Hr...on a semi-paved surface...dodging live animals, carts, motorcycles and people.
- The number of families that need our help is even larger than I thought.
- 10 years in The Marines does little to encourage pleasant sight-seeing, and a great deal to identifying safety zones, positions of enfilade and defilade, lack of force dispersal, and lousy head facilities.
- Children and families are the primary casualties of poverty, followed closely by dignity and hope...and then toothbrushes.
- Injera will take a while to become my favorite Ethiopian meal. Right now, it's coffee and popcorn.
- God has a special spot reserved for the nannies who gave my son two great years of recuperation and safety, blanketed with love and encouragement.
- America is truly a blessing.
- Ufayise (Tommy's mom) will remain an important person in all our lives. It was through her selfless choice to find him a better life that she changed our family tree forever. I pray that one day very soon, there will be much less of a need for such choices.
- God can be found in many forms in most of the places and people we saw and met in Ethiopia. He sent us there to do his will...and brought us home...safely, different, better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)